“Say your prayers, MF!” “Mummy! Swearing won’t put me to beddy-byes quicker.” * *. * File under Magic Realism, excerpt from ‘The Playlist’, (Hard Egg Publishing 2020) available from Amazon. UK / US Kindle version available FREE from Friday 30th April – Monday 3rd May
Tag Archives: humor
The Trouble With Statistics
BOINK!! “Is that a number butterfly bouncing off the lightbulb?” “No, it’s a math, we get a lot of them this time of year. They’ve multiplied.” “I read there weren’t as many.” “Opinion is divided.” “Subtract that last statement!” “No. I’m going, this conversation doesn’t add up!” * *. * File under Magic Realism, excerptContinue reading “The Trouble With Statistics”
Sunny Delight
“D’you know the Sun is 25% Helium?” “Is that why it floats in the sky, like one of them balloons?” “Yeah, I ‘spose so.” “Hey, d’you reckon, with all that Helium, people living on the Sun speak with funny high-pitched cartoon voices?” “Probably.” “He He He.”
Bread rage
I was unprepared for what to write today as my intended piece on a rogue writing group turned into a 2000+ word story at the last minute and there was no way I could polish it up in time. So, I needed to find new inspiration, and quickly. Best way? Go for a walk toContinue reading “Bread rage”
Photographer’s guide to the weather
EUROPE Forecast is for guide purposes only. There may be some local light fluctuations, please adjust your aperture accordingly. In flashlight areas a lens-hoodmay be needed. Happy snapping.
Caught up in the mellow drama
The other night I was watching a TV programme about murder in fiction; it was good except for one annoying aspect. The presenter talked about melodrama but insisted on pronouncing it “mellow drama”. As if the sinister was fine. Like: “Hey man, let’s do a murder.” “Mellow drama” It spoiled the effect really. “Mellow drama”Continue reading “Caught up in the mellow drama”
Having A Wild Time.
Here is a piece I entered for the Writers Talkback Forum ‘One Word Challenge’: a 200 word story inspired by a one word prompt. The word? Wild. The result? I was judged to have won. Talk about having your cake… —————————————————————————————————– Having A Wild Time. If there was ever a place not to lose it,Continue reading “Having A Wild Time.”
A New Vision
‘Hello, New Age Opticians…’ ‘Oh hi, I’m having trouble with the contact lens you supplied me this morning.’ ‘I thought we’d sorted this out?’ ‘It’s still not right.’ ‘So what seems to be the problem now?’ ‘It’s making my eye water. A lot.’ ‘I see…’ ‘No actually, it’s more of an ocean. In fact there’sContinue reading “A New Vision”
The Blur of Celebrity
‘Have you done a lot of these?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘This is my first, as a stand-alone out-of-focus person.’ ‘It’s ‘background artiste’.’ ‘Do you ever get recognised?’ ‘No, I’m a professional.’ ‘Oh. Easy job though, isn’t it? Just stand at the back and look fuzzy.’ ‘Hardly! This isn’t crowd work, my dear.’ ‘No, you’re right. I usedContinue reading “The Blur of Celebrity”
Message received
‘I see they’ve had a reshuffle at Mount Olympus.’ ‘Have they?’ ‘Yes, they’ve gone all modern. Embracing new technology.’ ‘About time, so who’s gone where?’ ‘Well, Zeus is still tops but remember that wood-nymph, Skype?’ ‘In charge of the toadstools?’ ‘That’s the one, she’s been promoted, part of visual communications now; but here’s the shock:Continue reading “Message received”
absurd 