Jen & Mark picnic in the park, enjoying a mixed meze, an assortment of small dishes made for sharing, sort of… “Mmm, this is gorgeous!” “Slow down, savour the food.” “Hey, Is that your stomach growling?” “No, my dog. You just ate her food.”
“Hey, Hoover, what’s wrong with Mop?” “He had to break up with Broom.” “But they were so in love.” “I know, he swept her off her feet but her trashy brother, Dustbin, didn’t approve. Told Mop to back off, else he’d wipe the floor with him.” “Why, the dirty…”
Intolerably loud person, the centre of attention at the restaurant meal. No one can get a word in edgeways, until… “OMG! My hair’s full of fine shreds of cheese, and there’s more falling on me like snow. What on earth is happening? Make it stop! Who’s doing that above me?” “Oh, that’s Paul, he gratesContinue reading “Graters Hits”
BUY MY BOOK! Oh no, it’s free this weekend. If you like music and tales of growing up in the 60s, 70s teenage suburbia, and going to Art School in the glitzy world of the 80s, you’ll love this. Memoir meets flash fiction, a bit surreal and topped with more than a dash of humour.Continue reading “Book Marketing”
Punk-a-go-go, with a disco. Hardly in the spirit of nihilism. Tell it like it woz – File under humorous magic realism: ‘The Playlist’, (Hard Egg Publishing 2020) available from Amazon. UK / US Kindle version available FREE from Friday 30th April – Monday 3rd May Go grab it now!
I eventually got round to putting the poor guitar in the shed where it stayed for a month. Outta sight, outta mind. A big spider made its web across the sound hole. The web vibrated if you strummed the strings, hit them hard enough and the spider would appear, looking really pissed off. I wasContinue reading “Boris The Spider”
Take off the stack of 2-pence pieces blu-takked on top of your stylus. Clean the dust and static from the vinyl record in your hand (touching only the outer edges). Put the record on the deck and play. Memories flood back. A stack of 7″ singles recall a lifetime. Jimmy Wenn’s lifetime and how heContinue reading “Clear The Decks…”
“Say your prayers, MF!” “Mummy! Swearing won’t put me to beddy-byes quicker.” * *. * File under Magic Realism, excerpt from ‘The Playlist’, (Hard Egg Publishing 2020) available from Amazon. UK / US Kindle version available FREE from Friday 30th April – Monday 3rd May
BOINK!! “Is that a number butterfly bouncing off the lightbulb?” “No, it’s a math, we get a lot of them this time of year. They’ve multiplied.” “I read there weren’t as many.” “Opinion is divided.” “Subtract that last statement!” “No. I’m going, this conversation doesn’t add up!” * *. * File under Magic Realism, excerptContinue reading “The Trouble With Statistics”
The Carnival comes to town, bringing with it a wave of trouble by the young skinheads, roaming the funfair at night, spoiling for a fight. Luckily Jimmy has been developing telekinetic powers.