The Joke That Bombed

Oh, I forgot to mention, at the start of this month I won two minor writing competitions with my short fiction. Both with a limit of 200 words, one story was based on the prompt: “a piano lesson” – I took inspiration from the Laurel & Hardy short where as removal men they deliver aContinue reading “The Joke That Bombed”

Such a Lovely Place

The last time they’d tried to escape they’d got as far as the lobby. Glen Eagle, his wife and young daughter had made the mistake of taking their suitcases. They looked like a family about to leave, and with good reason. This hotel was the worst: the dirty rooms smelled, the beds were lumpy andContinue reading “Such a Lovely Place”

The Nature of Government

As the trees shed their leaves, the bankrupt government passed a bill demanding they pick them all up again. With only the law of gravity as their defense, the trees lost their case and were all cut down to make way for a giant car park. The government celebrated. You can tax motorists, not trees.Continue reading “The Nature of Government”

A New Vision

‘Hello, New Age Opticians…’ ‘Oh hi, I’m having trouble with the contact lens you supplied me this morning.’ ‘I thought we’d sorted this out?’ ‘It’s still not right.’ ‘So what seems to be the problem now?’ ‘It’s making my eye water. A lot.’ ‘I see…’ ‘No actually, it’s more of an ocean. In fact there’sContinue reading “A New Vision”

The Blur of Celebrity

‘Have you done a lot of these?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘This is my first, as a stand-alone out-of-focus person.’ ‘It’s ‘background artiste’.’ ‘Do you ever get recognised?’ ‘No, I’m a professional.’ ‘Oh. Easy job though, isn’t it? Just stand at the back and look fuzzy.’ ‘Hardly! This isn’t crowd work, my dear.’ ‘No, you’re right. I usedContinue reading “The Blur of Celebrity”

Message received

‘I see they’ve had a reshuffle at Mount Olympus.’ ‘Have they?’ ‘Yes, they’ve gone all modern. Embracing new technology.’ ‘About time, so who’s gone where?’ ‘Well, Zeus is still tops but remember that wood-nymph, Skype?’ ‘In charge of the toadstools?’ ‘That’s the one, she’s been promoted, part of visual communications now; but here’s the shock:Continue reading “Message received”

Having to make cuts…

I’ve had this short story for a couple of weeks now and don’t know what to do with it. I was aiming for ultra-short fiction but at 36 words this piece seems a little bloated somewhere around the middle. However, owing to the nature of the subject matter, I’m a little hesitant to cut anyContinue reading “Having to make cuts…”

Bang and the dirt is gone…

There was a challenge on a writing forum to produce a 50-word story that had to end with the phrase ‘With that – she shot him!’ I don’t advocate the use of handguns nor exclamation marks but here is my effort. ———————————————————————————– ‘The .44 Magnum, one of the most powerful handguns, delivers a large, heavyContinue reading “Bang and the dirt is gone…”

Caught up in the mellow drama

The other night I was watching a TV programme about murder in fiction where the presenter kept on talking about melodrama but pronouncing it ‘mellowdrama’. Like: ‘Hey man, let’s do a murder.’ It spoiled the effect really. Mellowdrama – stop saying it like that! The Victorian crime scene suddenly lost all of its haunting black&whiteContinue reading “Caught up in the mellow drama”