The Joke That Bombed

Oh, I forgot to mention, at the start of this month I won two minor writing competitions with my short fiction. Both with a limit of 200 words, one story was based on the prompt: “a piano lesson” – I took inspiration from the Laurel & Hardy short where as removal men they deliver aContinue reading “The Joke That Bombed”

Zest For Life

A beautiful family walk serenely towards a perfect horizon where a wonderful new day dawns. A soft disembodied voice fills the sky: “Zest, everything you’ve ever wanted. Zest for life.” A crumpled beer can hit the television screen. ‘Life’s not like that!’ said Davey opening another beer. ‘You mean our life’s not like that.’ RosieContinue reading “Zest For Life”

A Diluted Idea

It couldn’t get any better, or worse: maverick scientist, Ron Archimedes, had won the World Esoteric Science Fair’s Innovation Award, the Indie equivalent to a Nobel Prize, except without the cash. He therefore couldn’t afford to fly halfway round the world to accept the honour. Unless, he found an alternative to regular travel. Think! Concentrate!Continue reading “A Diluted Idea”

Web-based Artist (another Drabble)

I was getting fed up of working at my desk and looking out the window to see the dump of a garden we inherited with this house. So, I took some time off, got lucky with the weather, and took up the decking that covered almost the entire garden. Disappointingly I found only concrete and spiders underneath – no treasure, butContinue reading “Web-based Artist (another Drabble)”

Spotlight on Mr McGovern

Worse than the cane, out came the dreaded phrase: “Illuminate me, please do,” along with the trademark condescending smile; Mr McGovern towered over the twelve-year-old me. Caught in the shadow of this self-proclaimed genius, I’d drawn attention to myself. I should’ve kept quiet like everyone else, not expressed my ‘radical’ political theories in class. TheContinue reading “Spotlight on Mr McGovern”

Such a Lovely Place

The last time they’d tried to escape they’d got as far as the lobby. Glen Eagle, his wife and young daughter had made the mistake of taking their suitcases. They looked like a family about to leave, and with good reason. This hotel was the worst: the dirty rooms smelled, the beds were lumpy andContinue reading “Such a Lovely Place”

The Nature of Government

As the trees shed their leaves, the bankrupt government passed a bill demanding they pick them all up again. With only the law of gravity as their defense, the trees lost their case and were all cut down to make way for a giant car park. The government celebrated. You can tax motorists, not trees.Continue reading “The Nature of Government”

A New Vision

‘Hello, New Age Opticians…’ ‘Oh hi, I’m having trouble with the contact lens you supplied me this morning.’ ‘I thought we’d sorted this out?’ ‘It’s still not right.’ ‘So what seems to be the problem now?’ ‘It’s making my eye water. A lot.’ ‘I see…’ ‘No actually, it’s more of an ocean. In fact there’sContinue reading “A New Vision”

The Blur of Celebrity

‘Have you done a lot of these?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘This is my first, as a stand-alone out-of-focus person.’ ‘It’s ‘background artiste’.’ ‘Do you ever get recognised?’ ‘No, I’m a professional.’ ‘Oh. Easy job though, isn’t it? Just stand at the back and look fuzzy.’ ‘Hardly! This isn’t crowd work, my dear.’ ‘No, you’re right. I usedContinue reading “The Blur of Celebrity”

Message received

‘I see they’ve had a reshuffle at Mount Olympus.’ ‘Have they?’ ‘Yes, they’ve gone all modern. Embracing new technology.’ ‘About time, so who’s gone where?’ ‘Well, Zeus is still tops but remember that wood-nymph, Skype?’ ‘In charge of the toadstools?’ ‘That’s the one, she’s been promoted, part of visual communications now; but here’s the shock:Continue reading “Message received”