microfiction – absurd

Graters Hits

Intolerably loud person, the centre of attention at the restaurant meal. No one can get a word in edgeways, until… “OMG! My hair’s full of fine shreds of cheese, and there’s more falling on me like snow. What on earth is happening? Make it stop! Who’s doing that above me?” “Oh, that’s Paul, he gratesContinue reading “Graters Hits”

Is It Really Goodnight?

“Say your prayers, MF!” “Mummy! Swearing won’t put me to beddy-byes quicker.” * *. * File under Magic Realism, excerpt from ‘The Playlist’, (Hard Egg Publishing 2020) available from Amazon. UK / US Kindle version available FREE from Friday 30th April – Monday 3rd May

The Trouble With Statistics

BOINK!! “Is that a number butterfly bouncing off the lightbulb?” “No, it’s a math, we get a lot of them this time of year. They’ve multiplied.” “I read there weren’t as many.” “Opinion is divided.” “Subtract that last statement!” “No. I’m going, this conversation doesn’t add up!” * *. * File under Magic Realism, excerptContinue reading “The Trouble With Statistics”

Best Served Cold…

Mother is being impossible, so I shrieked into the freezer & left it there for a week. It came out frosty and spiky, frozen to the core. The shriek is now in the fridge, defrosting. We’ll see what mother makes of it when she opens… “AAARGH!” I think she’s found it

The Joke That Bombed

Moonlight cast a blue glow over the desolate quarry. The chain-link fence had been cut, dusty footprints formed a path leading into the disused mine, now a forgotten storage facility. ‘There it is!’ Jed and Sam’s phone lights rested on the unexploded bomb rumoured to be stored here. Sam’s beam picked out the stencil writingContinue reading “The Joke That Bombed”

Zest For Life

A beautiful family walk serenely towards a perfect horizon where a wonderful new day dawns. A soft disembodied voice fills the sky: “Zest, everything you’ve ever wanted. Zest for life.” A crumpled beer can hit the television screen.‘Life’s not like that!’ said Davey opening another beer.‘You mean our life’s not like that.’ Rosie hoovered noisily,Continue reading “Zest For Life”