Disillusioned with the music scene after the break up of The Beatles and the enforced relocation to suburbia, the young Jimmy enrols in a Russian Mind Control Programme but is defeated by an egg
Author Archives: mike olley
Best Served Cold…
Mother is being impossible, so I shrieked into the freezer & left it there for a week. It came out frosty and spiky, frozen to the core. The shriek is now in the fridge, defrosting. We’ll see what mother makes of it when she opens… “AAARGH!” I think she’s found it
Sunny Delight
“D’you know the Sun is 25% Helium?” “Is that why it floats in the sky, like one of them balloons?” “Yeah, I ‘spose so.” “Hey, d’you reckon, with all that Helium, people living on the Sun speak with funny high-pitched cartoon voices?” “Probably.” “He He He.”
Spoiler Alert
Jez pimped his car with spoilers: the bad guys crash into him but he doesn’t die.
Loco-gardening
A design influenced by train-travel landscapes, Reg’s garden was blurred at the front.
Eco-Hecklers
” BOO, RUBBISH!” “Why are you heckling the bin men?” “Because we should be recycling, not throwing away.” “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Think of the planet and all that. BOO, RUBBISH!!”
Quiche Me Quick
Walls have ears, and these days they have eyes too. Surveillance technology is so advanced that it makes espionage virtually impossible. So, to avoid detection, the spies in this café are communicating through micro-gestures: a barely perceptible eye roll; a twitch of an ear; the clockwise movement of a little finger… all mumbo jumbo toContinue reading “Quiche Me Quick”
Alternative Arthouse Cinema presents…
Movie where amnesiac tortoise, Schwarzenegger, suddenly remembers everything: Turtle Recall
Away From The Pack
Rose knew she’d drawn the short straw when it came to titles, her three sisters; the Queen of hearts, Queen of clubs and Queen of diamonds were all off living the romantic high-life while Rose, Queen of spades, was down on the allotment digging a different kind of scene.
Old Tech Problems
Pete has invited Marsha to take a sneaky peek round the apartment he will be renting “Nice place, Pete. It has an arty, antiquated vibe about it. I love… Why is there a tin can hanging from a string on the wall?” “Oh, that’s the telephone.” “Does it work?” “Well, it hasn’t rung yet.” “I’llContinue reading “Old Tech Problems”
absurd 