She sold sea shells by the seashore, primarily a small venture. But business was swift. Now she manages a large chain; ShellMart. Demand outstrips supply. People don’t care where the shells come from. We’re in a world where hermit crabs use plastic yoghurt pots as homes
Author Archives: mike olley
Keep Music Live
It’s getting close to the 70s and the sun’s going down. I make a detour past an electricals shop catching a bit of the Moon landing on the window display of TV sets and instantly fancy a bowl of Shreddies. Ignoring this Pavlovian conditioning I take the 15 bus back to 1967, getting off atContinue reading “Keep Music Live”
No Naked Flames
Observed at the diner: “Who’s the big guy eating that massive plate full of beans?” “Oh that’s Jupiter.” “Is that because of the big red spot on his forehead?” “No, because he’s a gas giant.” “Wha..?” “Honestly, you don’t want to be around to find out.”
Good news: the time machine lost tomorrow was finally found in 1876
It Worked Out Okay
Dan awoke tied to a chair in a murky basement. A hooded figure stood in the darkest corner, toying with an array of well-maintained torture instruments. The figure turned round to reveal 1) she was a woman, and 2) she held a fiendishly twisted spike in her hand She rotated the spike slowly until itContinue reading “It Worked Out Okay”
Mendelev Would Be Proud
Occasionally, as a typical nuclear family, we’d all sit together round the periodic table. That’s when Father would be in his elements.
“Reopen the Humpty Dumpty case. Jack Horner did it!” Police smash through JH’s door with a big red key, drag the little boy from the corner & confiscate his pie. “Y’ got nothin’ on me,” says JH, showing his true colours: a hardened criminal disguised as a little boy. “GUILTY” says the Judge before theyContinue reading “No Eggscuse”
At times, the Universe blipped, reset itself. For the good. In one such ephemeral moment everything got funky, everyone felt better than James Brown. Everyone was James Brown. Got up. Stayed on the scene. Like a fax machine… Click. Reset. Like a sox machine… The Universe wasn’t perfect
Daisy lovingly glued her favourite vase back together for the umpteenth time. Satisfied with her work, she returned it to the mantlepiece and went to fix supper. Left alone, the vase trembled, spun and flew across the room, where it hit the far wall. Smash! The vase gave a shattered sigh, “Bloody poltergeist.” Vases photoContinue reading “Bad Spirits”
Wherefore Art Thou?
Police now believe that Juliet tricked the love-sick Romeo into taking his own life by employing a dramatic Shakespearean misdirection plot-twist device, or a ruse by any other name