Dan awoke tied to a chair in a murky basement. A hooded figure stood in the darkest corner, toying with an array of well-maintained torture instruments. The figure turned round to reveal
1) she was a woman, and
2) she held a fiendishly twisted spike in her hand
She rotated the spike slowly until it caught and jabbed a sharp glint of light in Dan’s eyes. He screwed up his face in discomfort.
“This is going to hurt. A lot.” Sneered the hooded woman. “It’s a nasty way to die, the vocal cords snap first…” she said. “You see, I collect horror stories as screamed by my victims…”
Dan’s shoulders trembled. “Hehehe…”
“STOP laughing! Why are you laughing?”
“Because I collect fairytale endings,” said Dan.
And they all lived happily ever after
absurd 